Exploring the Hidden and the Forgotten .

It's been a whiiile and I've really missed writing some thing down . Summer is almost done and definitely I'm feeling much more better and confident about who I am and whom I love . I think that those times where I felt like crushed inside and like I don't even deserve living is a very normal thing that every person passes through . The only problem actually is when you can give no one a chance to listen to you and when , just like in my case , you cannot trust any person with your real thoughts and feelings . Mostly sure that it's not a good thing to do But that's me . Anyways I've been reading , navigating  , drawing as well ( well not as usual but anyways...) Don't know but If you can give your trust to someone and share with him or her those lonely and depressing thoughts that may visit you ,  than you will feel way much better with the kind of bad vibes that you feel sometimes .
Still though running to 'sad Korean Songs' to listen to when I'm feeling down or even when I want to get some sleep (Though I don't understand the language But I really love how they make me feel much more better ) . I really want to be an active person and why not sociable as well but I really get scared of knowing new people And I as well blame my parents ( sorry for that but unfortunately that's the truth ) (Actually I don't think that it's only their fault but it's the fault of the mentality of the majority of my people , for that Forever people's thoughts and sayings always matter for elders ... ) for being most of the time home , for not having many 'friends' , for not accomplishing my dreams ... I am nearly 21 years old now and I feel like each day is wasted for nothing , I feel like I wish I was able to sing out loud in front of others , I wish I was able to travel on my own , I wish that I was able to be more independent and to rely on myself more , I wish ... , I wish ... , I wish .... . Any ways I have for ever stayed home rather than going out with my friends , I've forever listened to my parents (for the good and bad advises and orders ) . The only thing that I wish for you dear friends and dear self as well is to live for you , to try to say no for the wrong decisions and orders . Time is passing way too fast and it's not gonna wait for you or me to be able to accomplish what you've for ever wanted . Stand up and try your best to do what makes you happy and what makes you feel like you're living for a reason . Be productive and try each day to build a better version of yourself .


    In hope that I'll love myself more and for that each person on earth says -I LOVE ME- for who I am ; In hope of doing what I love most in life ; In hope of having a happy healthy life I write these lines with a HOPE that tomorrow will be a better day InshaaAllah .
  

Who thinks that I'm not the only one who feels this way !! 




Thoughts 29-08-016

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